8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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