dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
