Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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