Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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