Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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