Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
