I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
