I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
