I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
