my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
