these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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