i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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