I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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