fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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