Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
