Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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