If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
