I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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