I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
