he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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