im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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