why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
