i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
