Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
well, you know. whores of a feather.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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