I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.