I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online