remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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