Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
