What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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