you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Can I color on your dick again?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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