so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize