its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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