So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize