Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this just has baby written all over it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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