I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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