Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
