your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
