It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
