My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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