The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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