Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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