WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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