that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
