so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on