This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
