My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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