Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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