just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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