There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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