im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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