I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize