Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
