dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
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I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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