'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
