dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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