Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
being pregnant is like rehab
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
