Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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