So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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