Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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