i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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