Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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