If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
