he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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