that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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